TO: All Personnel
FROM: The Big Dick
RE: Operation: Monkey ShineBy now you are well aware of the fruits of our master stroke. Never have we accomplished so much with so little effort and all of it to be credit to the zeal of our bitterest foes.
The last 6 years have seen those who would oppose us have been suitably frustrated and enraged over every perceived stolen election and circumvention of the law and, as was our intent, laid the blame squarely at the feet of GWB. Though they readily admit his IQ is only double-digits seperated by a decimal point (it's not like flying an F-102 can be any harder than
skiing in Vale) they have become so absolutely fixated they know one name and one name only for all their ignominy. With this in mind they believe they have seized the controls of both houses of congress and
salivate at the thought of immediately beginning impeachment proceedings. So much the better for us; let them. With his feckless catering and mewling conciliations to the enemy
Codename: Monkey Boy, might as well have been the president of Vichy France. The enemy will have fired its one and only political load as the public will not consent to an endless series of impeachment trials.
With the opposition in power and
Codename: Monkey Boy, conveniently removed for us we will have handed to us what would have expended far too many resources to achieve by our more “conventional” methods. Thus, our weakest link will be ejected, I will be installed and my hand-picked VP will naturally enjoy the "incumbent’s advantage" in the next election
and (s)he will have already been approved by the enemy-held senate, so how will they run against someone to whom they have already given their consent. The pathetic enemy won't even be able to look at the White House until 2016 and by that time we will have outlawed puppy dogs and rainbows.
As much as I am loathe to the idea of expending our assets to aid these impotent dolts I nonetheless directed that the Diebold machines they insisted we install after 2000 be used to ensure nothing was left to chance at this critical juncture. I appreciate the effort of all operatives this matter: The democrats’ win this 2006 mid-term election has
muted complaints about past AND FUTURE election-rigging.
With these critical elements and others in place we will be left unopposed. Witness our recent notice that we will be engaged in the Middle East
until at least 2010 thus effectively removing the issue from the table as no one wants to second-guess the generals, thanks be to the DNC’s use of Kerry as an
absolute moral authority. If a general says it the DNC demands you agree to it and obviously no one in our camp is of the mind to dispute the military we are so infamous for having created.
Moreover, if we do choose to disengage from Iraq the blame for the resulting civil war and attending regional destabilization will fall squarely on the enemy's shoulders; it is after all their referendum on the war. We will watch as the jihadis consume Iraq, Iran spreads its wings forcing the Sunni nations to respond, the Kurds will go autonomous forcing Turkey to declare war, the other Arabs will split along every other of the 10,000 lines they use to kill each other. They will be so preoccupied with slaughtering each other they will barely have time to fight us and our Zionist masters and then we can simply swoop in and pick up the pieces...and barrels. The enemy can't even claim going into Iraq in the first place was a bad idea now that the New York
Times was so kind as to make an issue of
Saddam Hussein being a nuclear threat as part of their electioneering.
These are heady times, my minions. Lesser beings call this a set-back for the Neocon Theocratic Global Hegemony Zionist Conspiracy, LLC; but if you want real world dominion of a nefarious schemes with minimal effort you need only allow the enemy to do what he does best:
be himself.
BTW – I need someone to take Ted Rall on a “
camping trip.”
